The friends-to-lovers pipeline — or the church event where two long-term friends end up dating — has long been a beloved romance trope. There’s a reason he loves movies When Harry Met Sally and My best friend’s wedding It has stood the test of time. But in an era where 78% of singles a report Dating apps, many no longer see as just a story – but instead as a potential solution to their single situation.
Pursuing a romantic relationship with a friend isn’t just about getting past the endless swiping and small talk that defines you App-based engagementBut it can also provide a low-stress path to building a romantic connection, says Carolina Pataki, Ph.D., LMFT, sexologist and co-founder of South Florida. Love Discovery Institutesays the self. While online dating requires you to evaluate chemistry and compatibility, switching from friends to partners allows for development over time, often in a more consistent and sustainable way, she says.
More than just an antidote to Dating app Fatigue, “Dating someone who starts out as a friend comes with a built-in foundation that most app-based relationships have to create,” sex and dating expert Nicole McNichols, Ph.D., professor of human sexuality at the University of Washington and author of You could have better sexsays the self. “You already know how this person communicates, how they handle stress, what their values are, and how they show up in everyday life.” This kind of insight can predict long-term compatibility, yet it’s often difficult to gauge in the early stages of a Bumble chat, she says.
And this is only part of it. Ahead, experts explain why this transformation can be so compelling and offer tips for dealing with, “Wait… Do I have feelings??” Moments carefully.
Why dating your friends can actually work
Going from friends to lovers gives you the gifts of time and context in a way that other origin stories don’t—or can’t!
You start with communication, rather than a checklist.
“When you meet someone on an app, there is often an implicit sense of evaluation – both of you trying to put your best foot forward while evaluating whether or not the other person meets your standards,” explains Dr. McNichols. If you’ve ever felt like someone is evaluating you on their mental checklist on a first date, you know that this dynamic is just as fun as getting… Colonoscopy. And it’s not a good idea to be on the other side of it either: On the date, you want to be present and relaxed, not score points toward compatibility. Dr. Pataki adds that when romance arises from friendship, there’s not the same automatic judgment, which makes it easier to develop connection from a place that feels more natural and authentic.
