Sometimes happiness can feel like an extension of ourselves, and even of our children. The stresses of daily life, getting out of the house in the morning, managing a household, and coordinating schedules, as well as larger issues, including anxiety about conflicts in the world, can all affect us as adults. Given the increasing problems with children’s mental health, we know that it negatively affects our children as well.
However, in the face of hardship, happiness is still achievable and necessary for well-being and resilience. research On Adult Well-Being, shows that there are specific steps we can take to develop and nurture happiness.
As James Barraz writes, Joy is “a general feeling of vitality and well-being characterized by meeting life’s ups and downs with authenticity and perspective.”
Based on our work with children, we know this applies to them too. It can be as simple as enjoying a hug, being fascinated by a ladybug, or laughing at a cloud. These simple delights can be small moments of joy for our children and for us — and they can be part of raising happy, resilient children, even in the midst of natural fluctuations.
We do not deny the difficulty, but rather we open to the possibility
When we talk about raising happy children, we are not talking about “happiness” as a fleeting emotion that is in response to good or pleasant things. We are not proposing to put difficulties aside, but rather to develop the capacity to endure them alongside our well-being. As James Barraz wrote Awakening joy, Joy is “a general feeling of vitality and well-being characterized by meeting life’s ups and downs with authenticity and perspective.”
We envision a happy child as one with a developed sense of comfort in themselves, one who often sees and enjoys the good around them and within themselves.
Happiness is not a destination or something to be achieved, but rather what Zhang Ming Tan, author of the book Search within yourselfIt is defined as “a profound feeling of prosperity arising from an exceptionally sound mind.”
We envision a happy child as one with a developed sense of comfort in themselves, one who often sees and enjoys the good around them and within themselves.
research The Center for Healthy Minds shows that well-being is a learnable skill. There are multiple evidence-based perspectives that offer practical ideas for developing happiness.
particularly, Resilience project Written by Hugh van Cuylenburgh focuses on Gratitudeand empathy and mindfulness to support resilience and happiness. the Action for Happiness Project It has a similar focus and lists mindfulness, gratitude, and kindness as core skills. in Solid happinessRick Hanson adds to this list and emphasizes the importance of inclining the mind or searching for happiness and then grasping it.
Raising happy children starts by building well-being skills together
Here are three fun activities based on these frameworks to try with your child.
Tilting the mind and taking it into practice: the shiny stick
Flash, coin it Deep DanaThey are small moments of peace, security and happiness.
Cut, decorate and stick a star on top of a lollipop or other stick. You can write “Catch the Flash” on the star. Share about the flashing and use the wand to “cast a spell” to notice and enjoy the flashing that day. You can also wave it around the top while people share their insight and how they feel.
the brain He has Negativity bias. By pausing to look for a glimmer, we can train our brains to notice and savor joy more often.
Gratitude Practice: Gratitude Sandwich
Children can draw and cut out pictures of five things or people they are grateful for as sandwich fillings.
- Cut two pieces of paper for sandwich bread.
- Adhere one piece of “bread” to the top and one to the bottom of the sticker.
- Stick the fillings between the breads (or Velcro so they’re interchangeable).
- Write “Gratitude Sandwich” and “I am grateful for…” on the “Bread.”
- Leave the sandwich in a visible place and use it as a conversation starter about gratitude.
Dr. Robert Emmons at UC Davis Found This feeling of gratitude can snap our nervous system out of its stress response. Giving children a visual link to things that reinforce feelings of gratitude can help strengthen the body-brain connection and develop positive neural pathways.
Developing happiness can be very simple if we focus on it, even when things are tough. Pausing to notice and absorb the good, feel gratitude, and connect with others sympathy And kindness in the small moments of our day can make a real difference.
Connection Practice: Bonds of Love
Have the child think of five people who make him feel loved or happy.
- String a bead for each person on the pipe cleaner.
- Twist the ends together so the beads don’t fall out. These are the bonds of love.
- Ask them to touch one bead at a time and remember the special person.
- Take a breath, enjoy their love, breathe it out, and give them love again.
- Encourage them to notice how they feel. Love ties can be attached to a backpack, worn around the wrist, or left in a visible place.
Especially when a child feels lonely or insecure, having a physical anchor can remind them that they are worthy and loved.
Adjust attention towards happiness
Developing happiness can be very simple if we focus on it, even when things are tough. Stopping to notice and absorb the good, feeling gratitude, and reaching out to others with empathy and kindness in the small moments of our day can make a real difference.
Fun, hands-on activities, like those listed above, can help both adults and children feel happier and create space for more joy in our lives.
Would you like more support? Building habits Of well-being and flexibility in your child? Try our new card collection available on April 21st. Let’s grow happiness Includes 50 activity cards to help kids build gratitude, self-compassion, and emotional regulation skills.
