When I was a high school student and for most of my adult life, I assumed college It was simply the next step. Much of my education focused on preparing for college, getting good grades, and following the same path that everyone around me seemed to be following. Looking back, I never stopped to question whether college was the right choice for me.
Now, as a mother with children facing these same decisions, I find myself asking completely different questions. It’s not about being anti-college, it’s about challenging assumptions and exploring alternatives. It’s about helping our kids make intentional choices instead of just following the default path.
The world has changed dramatically, and the conversation about higher education deserves a fresh look.
Why did I start to wonder if college was worth it?
Like everything in life, my perspective on college is shaped by my own experience. I attended a well-respected university and received a full scholarship and stipend. Although most college students today carry debt (sometimes a lot of it!). However, even though I was able to attend university for free, I ended up leaving in the end.
I started asking deeper questions about education, work, and what success really looks like. I realized that I no longer agreed with many of the assumptions that led me to this in the first place. That experience was a valuable life lesson. Sometimes, the most important question isn’t, “How do I succeed on this path?” but rather, “Is this the right way to start?”
I don’t claim to have all the answers. In fact, the older I get, the more questions I have. However, our children deserve the opportunity Ask those questions Before investing years of their lives and taking on life-changing debt.
The college landscape has changed
One of the reasons this conversation is so important is that the world looks very different now. The computer age has evolved into the age of artificial intelligence, which has changed the landscape of future (and current) careers.
Sadly, student debt has exploded. Millions of people have carried loans for decades, and many are discovering (too late) that student debt works differently than other forms of debt. I personally know people who have already paid back more than they originally borrowed and still owe large balances due to interest. Collectively, Americans have more than $1.6 trillion in student loan debt.
Meanwhile, there are fewer careers that require traditional degrees than you might think. While some careers absolutely require specialized education and licensure, many employers are eliminating degree requirements. Instead, they focus more on skills, Experience and certificates, And demonstrate competence.
There are also more opportunities Through entrepreneurship, Vocational training, trade careers, certifications, and digital skills development. Many of these paths require less time and less money, and people can start making money much faster.
This doesn’t mean that college is never meaningful. It simply means that college is no longer the obvious solution for everyone.
The emotional aspect of the decision
Parents often approach this conversation from a place of love and concern. We want our children to be safe and successful and to have opportunities that we may not have had. For many of us, we’ve learned that a college degree is the golden ticket to all three.
Because of this, the topic of college can become emotionally charged. There is often a fear that our children will fall behind, miss out on opportunities, or fail in some way if they choose a different path. Then there is social pressure. It is natural for parents to feel proud when their child is accepted into a prestigious university. Society still tends to treat university admission as a sign of success.
But I’m starting to wonder if college acceptance is actually a meaningful measure of our success as parents or a child’s future happiness.
What most of us really want is not a degree hanging on the wall. We want our children to build a life they love and find success. We want them to have freedom, purpose, meaningful relationships, financial stability, and the ability to contribute something of value to the world.
But is college always the most effective way to achieve this in today’s world?
Delay is expensive
One thought that has stuck with me is that college sometimes serves as a way to postpone decisions, rather than a destination. Many teens graduate from high school unsure of who they are, what they want, or what they hope their lives will look like. Frankly, many adults are still wrestling with these questions.
I know I definitely did. When I was 18, I hoped college would help me discover my purpose, but it didn’t really happen. This does not mean that college never helps people find direction. However, it’s worth asking whether spending tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars is the best way to search for answers.
For many students, college becomes a way to postpone difficult questions:
- What kind of life do I want?
- What type of work excites me?
- What values are most important to me?
- What am I uniquely gifted to contribute?
These are important questions and deserve attention. If your main reason for going to college is to avoid answering it for another four years, it might be worth examining that honestly.
One of the strongest arguments for college is society, Which is understandable. Teenagers naturally crave connection, belonging, friendship, and shared experiences. In fact, these needs are developmentally appropriate and very important.
When I was younger, one of the biggest attractions of college was the idea of continuing life with my friends. The social aspect was much more engaging than sitting in a classroom. But I started by asking a different question. Is college the only way (or even the best way) to build a meaningful community?
College creates an artificial environment where thousands of people of the same age, experience, and life stage spend time together. Although this may be exciting, it is very different from the way most adults’ lives work.
Real world societies are usually more diverse. They include people of different ages, backgrounds, professions, experiences and perspectives. They are often formed around shared values, common goals, service, faith, work, common hobbies or interests.
In my own life, the relationships that lasted the longest were not based on sharing a campus. They are built around shared values and meaningful life experiences. Community is very important, but I don’t think the college has a monopoly on it.
Alternatives that many teens have never heard of
One thing I wish I had known when I was a teenager is that there are other options. Growing up, I considered college something mandatory, like 13th grade. Other options weren’t even on my radar. I think young people today deserve a much broader picture.
Trades are one example. Thanks to changing workforce demographics and labor shortages, many skilled trades are experiencing tremendous demand. Skilled tradesmen and other professionals often have strong job security, good income, and much less (or no) long-term educational debt.
Apprenticeships provide another path. Instead of paying to learn, students can often earn money while learning. Internships and volunteer opportunities can also create valuable professional relationships. Many people discover careers they love through real-world experience rather than sitting inside a classroom.
Travel can be a great teacher too. Exposure to different cultures, lifestyles, and perspectives often provides an education that no textbook can replicate. More and more teens are choosing to take a “gap year” in it Travel and discover What do they want from their future?
Certificates provide another option. Depending on the student’s interests, degrees in areas such as fitness, technology, design, project management, or the skilled trades can lead directly to meaningful employment. One of my children is very interested in athletics and is currently seeking a personal trainer certification. This can be a faster path and even rival the salary of college degrees.
The goal is not to convince every young person to avoid college, but to realize that they have other options.
The financial reality of student loans
This is where the conversation gets serious for me. If there’s one area where I have particularly strong feelings, it’s student loan debt. Over the past 10 years, I’ve deliberately tried to let go of strong opinions about things, but this is one area where I’ve actually become stronger.
Teens are often required to sign financial agreements involving tens of thousands of dollars before they pay rent, manage the family budget, or become experienced adults. Financial responsibilities.
This concerns me. Many young people are understandably focused on the promise of future earnings. What they often don’t fully understand is how interest, repayment schedules, and debt obligations can shape their choices for decades.
Debt affects more than finances. It affects career decisions, housing choices, family planning, entrepreneurial opportunities, and overall freedom. Meanwhile, someone who enters the workforce early may begin earning and investing years before a traditional college graduate enters full-time work.
Those years are important because the composition works both ways. Debts add up, but so do investments, savings, skills and experience. That’s why I believe every family should carefully consider the true financial cost of higher education before making a decision.
What about sports?
Sports add another layer to this conversation. Many young athletes They are told that college is the main way to further their athletic careers. Depending on the sport, this may sometimes be true, but it’s still worth asking questions.
If the goal is to play a sport at the collegiate level, college obviously makes sense. But if the goal is long-term athletic development, professional competition, or simply staying active in sports, there may be other paths worth exploring. Private training, club teams, travel competitions, independent training, and specialized development programs are a few examples. This can provide opportunities outside the traditional college system.
As a parent, I want my children to understand all of their options before making big commitments. No matter what they choose, I want that choice to come from thoughtful consideration and not just assumptions.
Questions I wish my kids would ask
As my kids approach adulthood, I try to give answers less and encourage them to ask good questions more. These are the questions I wish I had stopped and asked myself before choosing a college. These are the questions I ask my kids to ask when they make these decisions.
Questions like:
- What kind of life do you want at 25, 30 or 40?
- How important is the idea of starting a family and at what age do you think you will be open to it?
- What kind of schedule and flow (not just a job) do you want as an adult?
- What does success feel like to you?
- How important is financial freedom?
- What skills Do you want to develop?
- What type of work really interests you?
- What kind of people do you want to surround you?
- What lifestyle do you hope to create?
- What if you didn’t need a degree to do what you love?
I also encourage them to think beyond their careers. I want them to consider relationships, family, purpose, contribution, community, and the type of person they hope to become. In the end, life is much bigger than your job title.
Is College Worth It?: Final Thoughts
This conversation is really about agency and helping our children realize that they have choices. It’s about empowering them to make intentional decisions rather than following a path just because that’s what everyone expects. College can certainly be a valuable option in certain situations. However, this is no longer the only path to a meaningful and successful life. I would argue that it is no longer the best path in many cases.
As a parent, my goal is not to make choices for my children. My goal is to support them, help them ask better questions, and trust them to discover their own path. Whether that path involves college, business, entrepreneurship, travel, apprenticeships, athletics, or something completely different.
I want them to move forward with clarity, confidence and freedom. Most of all, I want them to know that no matter what they choose, they will always have my unconditional love and support.
Are your children thinking about college or doing something else? What types of questions do you want them to ask when making a decision? Share below!
