Published May 19, 2026 at 11:32 AM
Do you often find yourself saying “yes” when you mean “no”? If so, then you are (unfortunately) familiar with the concept of people pleasing. You’ve probably learned that in addition to being a psychological term, people-pleasing can be an exhausting game of physical survival. You’re not just “being nice.” You operate as an open-door policy, and worry that the moment you speak your mind or put your needs before those of others, you will be called selfish or difficult.
It turns out that boundaries (or lack thereof) aren’t just psychological; There is also a physical component. It’s that anxious knot in your stomach when you hear a text message ring followed by a mental panic about how to solve someone else’s problem, usually at your own expense. You can read all the self-help books about boundaries, but your body remembers them. Which is why getting over your tendency to please people can (and should) involve literally moving through it.
Yoga can help. Learning to set boundaries and go beyond being a person pleaser is about more than just drawing lines drawn in conversations. It’s something that is built from the inside out, starting with the physical space you allow yourself to occupy.
The science behind creating boundaries
research It appears that enhancing your proprioception, or your understanding of where your body is in space, can change your brain’s map of where you end up and the world begins. This physical clarity supports the creation of psychological boundaries by essentially telling your nervous system, “I have an ocean.”
“Part of growing up and developing a sense of self is learning boundaries — specifically, understanding where you end and where someone else begins,” he explains. Sandra L. CaronPh.D., LCPC, is professor emeritus of Family Relations and Human Sexuality at the University of Maine. “This awareness helps you stick to your values and beliefs (hold your space) and makes you less vulnerable to manipulation.”
When you engage in anything that supports proprioception, you are practicing the physical version of what Caron describes. In mind-body practices, setting boundaries usually begins with physical experiences. For example, when you practice push-ups in yoga, you engage in an isometric contraction, which holds tension in the muscles without engaging in any movement. research The motor pattern indicates that these movements help the brain practice assertive behavior. By physically pushing yourself off the ground or compressing the space around you, you build neural pathways that can also support saying no and reducing ways to please exes.
How to stop being a yoga person
From a yogic perspective, creating and maintaining boundaries with others is a physical exploration of the mind levelOr not steal. This principle reminds us that when we fail to say no, we allow others to steal our energy. We are also robbed of our sense of integrity. The opposite also applies to respecting others’ boundaries.
Just as you can use specific yoga poses for treatment Anger Or feel failureYou can use your yoga mat to practice the physical sensation of holding boundaries. By moving through the following shapes and focusing on your surroundings, you are practicing the physical skill of “holding your space.” It is a physical reminder that you have the right to occupy and protect your space.
By physically training your body to enhance its ability to stop pleasing people, you teach your mind to respect them, too. Consider your Yoga food Your practice place to map out what physically feels like to you.
1. Warrior 2 (Virabhadrasana II)
This pose reminds you to claim the space extending in all directions around your body. Think of it as a physical declaration of your limits and your desire to no longer please people.
How to: From standing, space your feet about four feet apart while facing the long side of the mat. Turn your right toes toward the short side of the mat and angle your left toes slightly inward. Bend your right knee and keep your back leg straight. With your chest facing the long side of the mat, extend your arms straight out from your shoulders, parallel to the mat, effectively extending from your heart center outward through your fingertips inward Warrior 2. Keep your gaze fixed on the front middle finger of your right hand. Focus on your breathing for 10-20 seconds. Then switch sides.
focus on: This position acts as your surroundings. Reach through your fingertips as if you were marking the edges of your personal area. Take note of your limits. Nothing violates this space without your permission.
2. Extended Side Angle with Bind (Baddha Utthita Parsvakonasana)
When you bind with your arms, you literally close the loop with your own strength. Think of it as choosing to implicitly hold your energy rather than releasing it to those who haven’t earned it.
How to: From Warrior 2, place your front hand on the mat or place a black block on the inside of your front foot Extended side angle. Reach your upper arm behind your back, palms facing away from you. Reach your lower arm below your front thigh to clasp your hands or touch your fingertips. You can use a belt, towel, or long-sleeved shirt to bridge the space between your hands if necessary. Bring your upper shoulder back to open your chest toward the side wall. Stay here for 3-5 breaths. Then switch sides.
focus on: What does it feel like to be completely self-sufficient? If the constraint seems too restrictive, can you release the constraint a little without releasing it completely?
3. Gate Pose (Parijasana)
This stretch reminds you that strong boundaries don’t need to be rigid and immovable. It can be flexible and bend, as needed, without breaking when it adapts to situations. Your limits can be modified, but only by you.
How to: Start by kneeling on your mat. Extend your left leg straight out to the side, away from the mat. Press the soles of your feet into the floor with your toes pointing forward in the same direction as the front of the mat. As you inhale, raise your right arm. As you exhale, tilt your torso to the left and move your left hand down your extended leg Gate position. Keep your chest wide and facing forward rather than collapsing toward the floor. Stay here for 5-10 breaths. Then switch sides.
focus on: As you breathe into your sides, think about expanding your boundaries with a person or situation. As you exhale, think about shrinking the boundaries a little.
4. Side plank (Vasisthasana)
When you strengthen your lateral core, you’re practicing strengthening flexibility in places where you may inadvertently experience weakness. Think of it as a metaphor for places in life where you might be leaking energy to others.
How to: from Plank positionbring your feet together. Shift your weight to your right hand and begin rotating your body to face the left side of the mat while placing your left foot on top of your right. Place your left hand on your left hip or extend your left arm toward the ceiling, forming a T-shape with your arms inward Side board. Lift your hips off the mat. If you need more stability, place your bottom knee on the mat for support or place your left foot on the mat in front of your right foot. Stay strong here for 3-5 breaths. Return to Plank and move to the other side.
focus on: Feel your side core and outer hips flare and help you resist gravity. Imagine that these parts of your body are flexible and protect everything inside you.
5. Goddess Pose (Utkata Konasana or Divyasana)
The pushing motion with your hands allows you to practice the physical act of saying no. When it becomes familiar, you may find yourself saying no more easily in your daily life.
How to: Stand with your feet wide apart and point your toes outward toward the corners of your mat. Bend your knees deeply, sinking your hips toward your knees. Make sure your knees stay parallel over your toes. Keep your chest upright with a neutral back. Place your hands on your chest, then as you exhale sharply, force your palms forward and away from your chest, as if you were moving a heavy wall away from you. Stay in the strong squat position for 5-10 breaths.
focus on: Feel the sensation of something moving away from you. This is the physical equivalent of saying no without having to apologize.
