What really fuels moms in long-distance triathlons

It is rare to meet a mother who does not feel her heart bursting when she leaves her crying child in the nursery to go to work, or who does not feel like crying when she has to go out of town on a business trip. There’s a term for this, and it’s a term that mothers around the world know: mom guilt.

Put endurance sports into the equation—including all the time, energy, and money needed to train and compete—and a mother’s daily life becomes even more saturated with difficult decisions and emotional negotiations. In triathlon, a mother’s guilt can look like spending all day wondering if she should forgo her evening gym session for a bedtime story, or debating whether the money they were saving for a new bike would be better spent on their child’s gym fees.

So why do mothers continue to choose to wear their goggles, settle into aero bars, and tighten their shoelaces? This is the question that Dr. Iris Al-Nafshi set out to explore in her study Psychological resources that nurture mothers in long-distance triathlonsalso known as “IronMoms” as they pursue their athletic goals.

Like many mothers, Al-Nafshi says her identity extends beyond her role to include her four children. She has achieved great heights on her own as a triathlete, as well as in business environments, where she facilitates talent and teamwork improvement strategies, and in her podcast, Strong core. She conducted her study on IronMoms as part of her PhD in Human Development at Fielding Postgraduate University, and shared her findings with Triathletehighlighting what she believes drives mothers to return to this rigorous sport.

A study of mothers in long-distance triathlon

Al-Nafshi recruited 350 participants for the study, the majority of whom were Americans. She then collected quantitative and qualitative data. All mothers were amateur athletes who completed a half or full distance of an Ironman triathlon, with approximately half of the mothers completing one or two full Ironman races. Every woman who responded to Al-Nafshi’s survey was actively training for an endurance race in the next six months.

Approximately 31% of the mothers included in Al-Nafshi’s study fell in the age group of 35-44 years, followed by about 30% of mothers in the age group of 45-49 years. More than two-thirds of them had several children, and about 66% of the women worked full time.

Iron mothers are brave, but they also feel guilty

Al-Nafshi described determination as a combination of perseverance and flexibility. To measure this characteristic, Nafshi was used Angela Duckworth’s Grit Survey. It goes without saying that all athletes, not just mothers, must draw on deep reserves of determination to compete regularly in the sport. This resolve becomes even more profound and necessary once an athlete has a child, when the realities of parenthood, like staying up late with a crying baby, must coexist with early morning workouts.

But this resolve is not always enough to overcome the feelings of guilt a mother may feel about her quest for endurance, which Al-Nafshi found prevalent in the IronMom group. This was measured using Guilt About Parenting Scale (GAPS) It was developed by researchers Devna Haslam, Anya Venus and Jules Finch.

What may surprise many people, especially non-mothers, is that having support (from a husband, nanny, or other family member) did not significantly reduce the mother’s level of assertiveness or guilt. Although external support is certainly crucial to the logistical aspect of triathlon, it does not necessarily help ease the psychological burden a mother faces when practicing this sport.

Likewise, employment status (whether full-time, part-time, or not working at all) did not significantly affect levels of grit or guilt either. A stay-at-home mom can feel just as guilty for a six-hour bike ride as a mom who works 8 hours every day of the week. research It shows that even world-class elite athletes, whose job it is to compete, feel guilty for prioritizing their sporting commitments.

Maternal guilt is clearly rooted in culture and (to some extent) biology. Over-analyzing a woman’s choices as a mother may be largely unavoidable, but Al-Nafshi has found that athletic mothers constantly internalize guilt, turning those difficult feelings into fuel. I discovered that what drives a mother to persevere can be multifaceted and unique to each individual.

Why IronMoms Run Triathlons, Damn “Mom Guilt.”

It’s no secret that mothers are very resilient. Despite feeling guilty on a daily basis, study participants continued to wake up early to do brick exercises. Most importantly, they persevere despite questions from society (and sometimes even their partners) regarding whether triathlon is a selfish sport; They continue to follow their passions.

Therefore, one of the main points of Al-Nafshi’s research was what helped these math mothers overcome feelings of guilt. To find out, I asked them the open-ended question: “Why do you choose to train for an IRONMAN or other endurance event and continue despite the hardships?”

More than any other reason, participants (61.3%) responded that endurance events help satisfy the need for personal challenge and develop feelings of strength and ability. At the same time, 46% of participants answered that they want to be a positive role model for their children. Other motivators included supporting physical health and longevity, finding community, and regulating mental and emotional stress. Setting aside “me” time was another strong motivator cited by mothers, which is consistent with the findings Another study conducted on maternal guilt was conducted by Diana Cohen.

Through her surveys and interviews, it became clear to Nafshi that there was something more than just boldness at play here. She modified Hero framea psychological acronym for Hope, Efficacy, Resilience and Optimism, to help us understand what keeps mothers active in endurance sports.

The (S)HERO framework best describes the experience of an athlete mother, where the “S” represents self-compassion, she said. Just as mothers tell their children that it’s okay to take time for themselves, make mistakes, and deal with difficult emotions, mothers learn to tell themselves the same things. In other words, mothers recognize the “self” in self-compassion and give themselves the autonomy and space to grow that they naturally deserve. This is consistent with previous research conducted on Athlete mothers participating in marathon races.

How to help math moms stay in it for the long term

Nafshi found that the more Ironman a mother completed, the less guilt she felt. So, while it may be uncomfortable for a mother to enter or resume this sport after having a child, she can take heart in the fact that it will likely become easier.

Part of this has to do with the age of the child; Al-Nafshi found that mothers of children under the age of seven felt higher levels of guilt than mothers of older children. In addition, Previous research Studies of elite athletes in Slovenia suggest that the identity of the athlete mother may take years to form, beginning with what we now call “Chapter Zero.” Mothers are currently expected to confront their changing identities and overcome feelings of guilt on their own; Research suggests that being part of a supportive community can help.

Grants that help mom athletes train and race, e.g The latest collaboration between Strava and For All Mothers+can help prepare mothers for a lifetime of physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Other measures – such as child care at race sites, feeding tents, and affordable sports psychology services – are also crucial. Many of the facilities that would benefit mothers overlap with those desired by women in general. Not long ago, we covered a Survey conducted by SheRACES Determining factors such as more generous stop times, female representation in advertising materials, and accountability for athlete misconduct are pivotal to female participation in triathlon.

The research by Al-Nafshi and her colleagues shows the need to break down the mother-athlete divide. Mothers should not feel pressured to choose between these two identities. Instead, the triathlon community should support moms and provide ways for IronMoms to connect. This can take many forms: If you’re a fellow triathlete, offer to babysit while mom rides. If you are the race director, get the whole family involved during the race weekend with a kids’ distance race. And if you’re in doubt about how to make a difference in a sports mom’s life, do what Al-Nafshi did: Ask questions and be open.