5 small shifts that saved my long-distance friendships

As a Brit who recently moved to Australia, I was concerned about whether I could maintain a successful long distance run Friendships– Especially since my best friend still lives in the UK. After all, research It has been shown that if you go two months without communicating in person with a friend, your level of closeness will decrease by 30%. After five months, this number increases to 80%.

I can partially attest to these statistics. Some friends who I thought were “ride or die” haven’t messaged me in months (or me included). A couple that I thought would always be there were nowhere to be seen when I last visited the house. A new friend in Australia was confident that our time away during this same period wouldn’t shake us – as I was – but things didn’t turn out that way.

“Distance friendship can be difficult because proximity is one of the things that creates connection,” the psychologist said Marisa J. FrancoPh.D., author Platonic: How the science of attachment can help you make and keep friendshipssays the self. “There can be a lot of obstacles,” she continues, noting that a lack of active effort and a lack of openness to digital communication can contribute to both metaphorical and literal distance.

Maintain closeness and connection With a friend who lives on the other side of the world He is Tough – but still very much possible too. Case in point: my best friend, Homera, who still lives in London while I’m here in Melbourne.

Humira and I have been friends for about four years, but have become very close (i.e. “best friend” category) over the past 18 months. We love going to business events together (she’s a journalist too), going out for walks with her dog, and curling up on the couch to watch… Married at first sight (Australian version, always) when we’re in London. We feel comfortable when we are in silence together, and since we are both introverts and extroverts, we are happy to use our mutually agreed upon code word – “non-verbal time?” -If we need it. She’s kind, spunky, hilariously funny, has solid morals, and accepts me for who I am (anxiety spiral and all).

It goes without saying that breaking up is difficult for both of us. We agree that not being able to show up to see each other or pick up the phone due to the huge time difference is one of the biggest challenges. It is especially difficult when your person is not there during the difficult times. But mostly, it’s the little things we both miss, like drinking coffee and complaining about things.