When you’re feeling overwhelmed and feel the need to resist or suppress painful, confusing, or distressing emotions, use this meditation from recovery coach Emily Jane to practice staying present with courage and compassion.
One of the core principles of mindfulness practice that can challenge people is the idea that it makes sense to accept our feelings rather than resist them. Especially when it comes to painful, confusing, or scary feelings, this move toward ourselves with compassion can seem incredibly counterintuitive.
This week, author and recovery coach Emily Jane walks us through a practice you can use anytime you need support to bring curiosity, courage, and compassion to difficult experiences.
Embodied compassion for difficult feelings
You can read and practice the guided meditation text below, pausing after each paragraph. Or listen to the audio training.
When we try Difficult feelingsOur natural tendency is to suppress or resist them, yet this resistance often creates more stress and suffering. In this meditation, we will begin to gently change our relationship by creating space for our uncomfortable feelings. We will invite them and sit with them sympathetically, like an old friend.
We will begin the meditation with some mindful awareness, and then move toward feelings, sensations, and parts of ourselves that we might normally avoid or wish we didn’t feel.
- Start by finding a position that feels comfortable, either sitting in a chair, on your bed, on the floor, or lying down. When you’re ready, you can close your eyes or lower your gaze. Allow your shoulders to relax, your jaw to soften, and perhaps open and close your jaw a few times, creating a slight movement and inviting some relaxation. Let all the small muscles around the eyes, forehead and cheeks soften as much as possible.
- Now bring awareness to the surface beneath you. Feel this support, how it carries you. If your feet are touching the floor, feel the connection between your feet and the floor, and feel the support that is already here.
- Notice your body temperature and the air temperature around you. Notice your body weight and the force of gravity holding you down.
- Now bring awareness to the natural rhythm of your breathing. Follow the path of breathing through the body. Observing how it enters the body, where the breath settles in the body, perhaps the chest, abdomen, or ribs. And notice how it leaves the body. Just take a moment to feel a full breath from beginning to end, and then the breath that follows.
- Now, inhale a little deeper through the nose, allow the breath to flow into the abdomen and then exhale with a sigh. Again, inhale through the nose and exhale slowly with a sigh.
- Now bring awareness to your body as a whole. Notice how it feels to be you in this moment, in this body. See if you can approach your experience with curiosity and a sense of compassion.
- Be aware of any sensations, and note any present feelings or areas of tension, discomfort, or heaviness. Whatever is here, see if you can let it be here and gently make room for it.
- Now, become aware of that part of you that is conscious. The part of you that is aware of breathing, body, sensations and emotions. See if you can rely on consciousness itself, this observant presence, and notice its qualities. Perhaps there is calm here, or stillness, or a feeling of peace and compassion.
- Rest for a moment in this compassionate awareness. If you feel supported, place one hand on your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands, the gentle pressure, just provide care and support to the body.
- Now recall a difficult emotion, memory, or situation. Nothing too intense, just something you find a bit challenging. Maybe there’s been something that’s been worrying you lately, a reaction that has bothered or bothered you, or just a feeling you’ve been carrying around.
- When this comes to your mind, notice what is happening in your body. Sensations may begin to arise: restlessness, tightness, heaviness, or a sinking feeling. You may have noticed the emotion. Just feel whatever arises and name the feelings. Describe any sensations.
- See if you can simply notice the sensationjust being an empathetic witness to the discomfort or pain and allowing the experience to be here without immediately pushing it away. Remember: You don’t have to pretend that everything is okay, and you don’t have to like it. But see if you can welcome it, make room for it, and leave it exactly as it is. If this sounds like a challenge, that’s okay. It’s our human nature to resist discomfort, so if there’s resistance, just notice that too without judgment.
- When you sit with that feeling or sensation, notice that there is space around it. Space inside the body, space around the body. The support underneath you is still there. The breath is still moving, and this feeling, this sensation, is only one part of your experience. It’s part of you, but it’s not all of you.
- Now just get a little closer to the emotion Gently place your hand on the area where you feel the emotion or sensation strongly. Through your hand offer these words, “I see you. I am here with you. I offer you space, compassion, and love.” Notice what happens when you say these words. Maybe that part of you responds to the words. You may encounter less resistance to it. There may be relief or even find peace in the discomfort or pain. Maybe nothing changes at all. Whatever happens, it’s okay. There is no right way to experience this.
- Just spend a few more moments with these feelings and this feeling. Then bring your awareness back to the breath, and as you inhale, imagine that you are breathing compassion into the body. Let it flow into the center of the emotion, and as you exhale, allow it to expand into the space around you. Breathe in compassion, breathe in compassion. As you breathe, allow these feelings to blend into the fullness of your being.
- Now start feeling the body as a whole. The support beneath you, the ground that holds you, feels the support of gravity. Gently remind yourself of these words, “I can relate to difficult emotions when I create compassionate space for them.”
- Now gently bring your awareness back to the space around you. Note any sounds in the room, and the air temperature. Invite some gentle movement in the body. Maybe a gentle sway or just a gentle shake of the arms. Take a final deep breath into the abdomen and then exhale fully. When you’re ready, you can open your eyes and go back in time.
