On Mother’s Day, I found myself at my local garden center, where I love to spend the holiday. In fact, my only request every Mother’s Day is to spend some time picking plants and then finding a home for them in my garden. On this particular Sunday, I heard another mother talking to her children, beaming as she told them how the park was her “happy place.” Her joy was contagious, and the children jumped away, eagerly pointing to their favorite flowers, asking if they could also take a plant home.
There are many ways gardening mirror care works.
Variations of this scene appeared around me, with mothers wanting and able to holiday here among the bustling plant life. She wondered if the store would look the same in a few weeks, when Father’s Day came. I was hoping that would happen.
Benefits of gardening
There are many ways gardening mirror care works. Anyone who has spent an afternoon weeding knows that it can be a thankless task, and that nurturing a seed as it grows to its fullest expression requires patience, consistency, flexibility, hope, and a little luck.
In nature, as in parenthood, awe and beauty are reproduced in the process, not at any predetermined endpoint.
There’s a saying among parents that parenting often involves more fun than fun, meaning it can be very rewarding and satisfying, but it doesn’t always provide instant gratification. This is of course true in the garden as well. A fig tree seedling does not bear fruit immediately. It takes three years for asparagus to root and mature before it is ready to harvest.
In nature, as in fatherhood, Awe Beauty is reproduced in the process, not at any predetermined endpoint. Practices that cultivate experiences of awe and appreciation of beauty Positively affects well-being. If you ask someone about their recent experience with dread (which I suggest you do!), they might share a moment with you nature: A shooting star in the black sky, the appearance of a sparkling rainbow overhead on the anniversary of the death of a loved one, and the discovery of perfectly pale blue robin eggs. Or, perhaps, they share a moment with a baby: a first step, a dimpled smile, a birth. Like any mental muscle, we can train ourselves to look for these moments. Often, all we have to do is get out.
Gardening is an investment in something that needs care. It requires taking seriously the obligation to care for a living being.
studies It has shown that gardening has a positive impact on health and well-being. Just spending time in green spaces can do that Significantly reduce stress levels. Time in nature gives our brain the opportunity to engage in what is called “Soft magic“, A A state of diffused attention Freed from the demands of the immediate task, the brain can experience relaxation, make new connections, and regain attention. Most of us have had the experience of walking in and suddenly finding a solution to a previously unsolvable problem, or returning to our desks feeling refreshed and in a better mood – something less dramatic but just as important. Parenting requires many resources, not the least of which is attention. like Parental pressures and demands of modern parenting are increasingit is becoming more and more urgent to identify sustainable and accessible stress management practices. Gardens can provide a combined ointment.
Furthermore, while gardening can be a quiet, restorative solitary activity, gardening communities abound in the form of civil society organizations, urban gardens, plant sharing, and seed libraries, suggesting that gardening can also nurture the social mind. Recreational activities that promote social communication It has a special effect on happiness (Fun and fun!). And in honoring parents, Having a strong social network is a protective factor for overall health.
There is something else that distinguishes gardening from other activities in nature.
In fact, fathers who serve as primary caregivers experience many of the physiological changes in the brain previously associated with biological mothers, such as changes in gray matter and restructuring of the brain’s emotional processing centers.
Gardening is an investment in something that needs care. It requires taking seriously the obligation to care for a living being. What gardening represents – about who wants, who can, who needs to care for our environment and our fellow human beings, who enjoys growing beauty, and who has the capacity to be patient, kind and giving – is what makes gardening a particularly poignant activity for parents.
Parents as primary caregivers
There has been a historical gap in research on fathers’ experiences of fatherhood. In her book, I want the brainDarcy Saxby explains how new studies conducted at the intersection of neuroscience and psychology reveal how all of us—not just mothers—are wired to care. This manifests itself in the form of neural circuits that are activated through the process of care, not just or even based solely on the experiences of pregnancy and birth.
In fact, fathers who serve as primary caregivers experience many of the physiological changes in the brain previously associated with biological mothers, such as changes in gray matter and restructuring of the brain’s emotional processing centers.
Parents can gain a lot from their role as caregivers. Majority of parents report Draw significant meaning and emotion from the target Of fatherhood. Interestingly – and perhaps not surprisingly – parents who serve as primary caregivers also seem to do so More likely to have mental health challenges associated with modern fatherhood. They, like all parents, need support and access to tools and practices that promote well-being. Gardening, with its entirety Benefits well-being, quality of life and healthis one example of this. In order to meaningfully encourage this, we must first acknowledge—or better yet, celebrate—the ability of fathers to nurture, nurture and develop.
When we take the father’s role as caregiver seriously, we not only strengthen children’s support systems, but we also respect the challenges and benefits of care work more effectively.
Father’s Day is only one day a year. But holidays reinforce cultural norms and values. Father’s Day traditions can provide a mirror of cultural messages about a father’s role, needs, and desires, as well as activities and resources available to him. If we stop to really think about the values we want to nurture as parents, we might see how an activity like gardening can offer parents the psychological and health benefits associated with it, while also enhancing their essential role within complex care networks.
To be clear, there is no right or wrong way to celebrate Father’s Day. In fact, there are countless ways to have a meaningful celebration. Regardless of how we choose to spend the day itself, when we take a father’s role as caregiver seriously, we not only strengthen children’s support systems, but we also honor the challenges and benefits of care work more effectively.
Perhaps by more intentionally involving fathers in some of the rituals, communities, and activities historically associated with mothers—by inviting them into the garden, so to speak—we can also broaden our understanding of who desires, deserves, and has a duty to care for sentient beings.
Conscious gardening practices for parents and families
- Plant a seed with your child. One seed is all you need. Plant it outside or on a windowsill. Together, check in daily. Each time you do this, share notes about the tiny little changes you notice as you start to grow and grow.
- Go on a sensory walk in the park. Find all the colors of the rainbow. Smell the flowers and gently rub the edible herbs between your fingers, and notice the fragrance that lingers. Feel the sun, wind or fog on your face. If there is a clean fruit or vegetable ready to harvest, do a taste test together, savoring the flavors.
- Visit a garden center, join a CSA, volunteer with an urban gardening project, or visit a seed library. These are great activities you can do as a family. Introduce yourselves. Learn what new facts you can discover about native plants, companion plantings, dahlia tubers, and even cucumber trellises.
- Find a place to sit. Designate one place — a window, a tree, or a bench — that you can return to weekly. Each time you do this, set a timer for 3 minutes (or 30 seconds, if you’re doing this with a young child). Sit in silence, noticing the sights, sounds, smells, and your feelings. Share, draw or record your notes.
- Father figure invitation. Consider bringing a father, partner, or father figure to experience the garden with you. Share what you love about the garden. Show them where you find beauty, meaning, and awe. As you do this, share what you appreciate about them as caregivers, and how they have been growth creators themselves.
