I’m tired of hearing about “nervous system regulation” in yoga

It’s as if I can predict exactly when the phrase “regulate your nervous system” is about to pop up in some familiar places, including yoga classes, social media health posts, breathing exercise videos, and conversations about healing. At this point, it seems less common and more like a tired script.

And it’s not just the words I hear over and over again. It’s the core promise they point to, which is that practicing yoga or other self-care rituals always regulates your nervous system, leading to a lasting state of inner peace and calm.

This is not so completely inaccurate. Yoga has been a powerful tool in helping me begin to work through the feelings that have built up in my body.sadness, ExhaustionAnd chronic pressure– before I could mentally process it. I entered class feeling distracted and exhausted, only to leave feeling more grounded than I had in months. This makes sense since then Scientific research It supports claims that certain techniques, including yoga and breathing, help manage stress levels.

However, I get a level of discomfort when I hear someone say that something will “regulate your nervous system,” as if it were a cure-all.

This is where I struggle.

There is a segment of wellness culture that mistakenly promotes the idea of ​​regulating the nervous system as a state of calm and equanimity. He also uses difficult feelings as an indicator that something is wrong within the self. The message might start to sound something like this: “If you’re stressed, you’re disorganized. Sadness doesn’t take more than a few yoga poses. Anger simply takes a few deep breaths.”

What interests me is the rapid transition from scientific language to emotional expectations. Somewhere along the way, the phrase “regulation of the nervous system” went from being a legitimate framework for emotional processing to something that can now be interpreted essentially as “Be calm—and do it fast!”

But this approach does not “cure” anything. It simply provides nicer instructions for temporarily composing itself by superficially concealing what is underneath.

When we equate structure with sustained calm, and promote that as somehow the “goal” of yoga, we discount the nuanced emotional experiences of everyone who steps onto our mat. What if I’m taking slow breaths but seething with anger? What if I just finished class but am overcome with sadness? What if I gain peace of mind but my heart still hurts? Did I not achieve the desired result of regulating my nervous system? For many who have been accused of being too sensitive or too intense, the message is even more difficult.

Even when yoga produces a feeling of calm, it does not mean that all other feelings are silenced. Sometimes I walk out of a yoga class feeling physically satisfied but criticize myself for not feeling it better. I thought it was my fault for not breathing properly or surrendering properly or that I simply couldn’t “heal.” This is not what anyone’s practice should become.

Having a balanced nervous system does not mean that a person no longer feels energetic. This does not mean that one should stop feeling angry, sad, or afraid. It means being able to move through those feelings without each one being its own crisis. Just like yoga, it is a practice of coming back to yourself over and over again.

Some of the most important lessons I’ve learned while practicing yoga didn’t happen in a state of calm. Instead, I became aware. This, to me, is the most sincere gift of yoga. Don’t be quiet all the time. Don’t turn yourself into someone who comforts you endlessly. Just becoming real enough to stay with yourself even when what you’re feeling isn’t at all calm.

Now, when I hear people talk about regulating the nervous system, I try to think less about becoming calm and more about becoming present. Less about fixing what I feel and more about noticing it without judgment. Some days, meeting myself where I am is the closest thing to organization I know.