In theory, everyone says they want to be with someone simple: the perfect man He will not argueshe will not overreact, and will agree to what she wants, which seems peaceful. But recently, the “plastic bag theory” making the rounds on the Internet makes a compelling case for why these ultimately playful and agreeable partners are the most exhausting yet.
The idea comes from a men’s relationship coach and motivational speaker Alessandro Frossaliwho compared some low-maintenance partners to plastic bags in a viral video. “You don’t initiate, you don’t plan things,” Frossali declared of the Plastic Bag Man. “You just go with the flow and wait until you make all the plans in the relationship.” He continues more bluntly: “What it practically feels like to live with a man carrying a sagging plastic bag down a river…it’s going well.” OK.
At first, this kind of “chill” might be tempting, “especially if you’re used to a volatile or hot-blooded guy or you’re coming out of a stressful situation.” A messy relationship“,” Sabrina Romanoff, psychiatristthe New York City-based clinical psychologist tells SELF. “So the absence of initial contact is a safety.”
But as you may notice over time, being “lenient” can, in some cases, be a convenient cover for not caring — and taking on less mental burden. When a person has no real preferences, no urgency to make a decision, and no instinct to escalate, this misplaced effort does not simply disappear. Instead, it falls on the other person in the relationship, who is suddenly booking every reservation, starting any conversation that has to do with budget or whether this relationship is going anywhere, and circling back around to the thing they said they would handle — while they, like a plastic bag, merrily drift away.
According to experts, someone He can Be calm without being negative or flexible while also staying engaged. In other words, just because he’s cold doesn’t mean he’s disconnected, there’s a line. So, here are the biggest red flags that someone is a “plastic bag” guy, and signs of a healthier partner to look for instead.
Doesn’t take initiative.
Dr. Romanoff says taking initiative doesn’t mean being controlling or rigid. It just means showing effort and investment without having to be asked. He should text first because He wants To talk. He notices when you’re upset and considers bringing it up before It becomes a complete issue.
